Saturday, April 17, 2010

Turning Points and Identities

This blog is about me!  About life, love and passions; the whys and wherefores of life!  The remnants!  That's right, I'm having an identity crisis!
     Identity: - differnce of character that defines an individual.
     Crisis: - a crucial or decisive point; a turning point
     Remants: - as an adjective - still remaiing; as a noun - a usually small part,  member or trace remaining.

Recent musings about my art leave me wondering who I am, what I am, why I am and where I am going.  Definitely an identity crisis; where do I fit in?  The problem is this crisis is a bit late in life!

Let me introduce myself, the person I am today.  I left seventeen years of age behind me a long, long time ago and have reached my three score and ten!  That's it folks I am 70 having a teenage crisis!  But then I have always been a late bloomer!

I've raised three children, have a lovely daughter-in-law, a fine son-in-law and two perfect grandchildren; have seven siblings and a mother who is now 92.  I've retired several times in last five years from the same career, same firm and am now pursuing my life's passion of painting.

Yet that is merely a summary, a picture frame with no picture!  I feel I am merely a remnant of some colossal tapestry!  Somewhere in this tapestry of colour and design there is a me.....a heart or spirit whatever you call it ... the core of my being.   Really, right now I don't know who that being is. 

I know that I am probably embarking on the last turning point of my life; the final filling threads, the "woof" of the cloth and in so doing I hope to identify the colours and design I left behind me in the lenghtwise "warp" that has been my road through life.

It may be a long exploration, there have been many roads and twists and turns but in so doing I hope to top this crisis with an identity that is me. 

I intend to begin at the beginning.  I write this blog for me.  If you wish to share then I would be honoured.  Tomorrow is the beginning!

     Moody Blue is the title of the artwork accompanying this blog.  A painting of a nor'easter storm on the
Atlantic shore of Nova Scota in November.  It was a mighty storm with waves cresting at the point I was on the beach over four feet high.  The sky was dark, the wind whipping, the mood was blue. 

   This painting best identifies how I currently feel.  A turbulence of activity with no identity!

1 comment:

  1. This is a brave blog to begin and I wish you well on the journey through it. Having gone through a similar excercise some years ago I know it can be a frightening and painful process. I also made a note of all those I hurt in the process and wrote to as many as I could. Now that was enlightening and eye boggling. I wish you very well and will travel the roda with you.